Must needed changes

During this period of my life, I stayed close to my trailer. Why, you question (especially if you know me now) was because of my fear. I lived a lot of my life in fear during that period. I was scared of what the Army would do to me, my son and my husband if I screwed up. I was under the assumption that the Army was a god type and could punish as it saw fit. (yes, a major change from who I am today, lol and that is partially why I am continuing this long drawn out BIO.)

I remember a neighbor of mine asking me to go to the PX with her on Fort Campbell. I was very excited due the fact that I had been there a few time with my husband and the season were changing so I need to purchase a winter coat for my son. I had heard of the discounts and thought it would be a good opportunity for me (and financially for my family). At the time of purchase, little did I know that my husband frequented the PX and wrote a check, so when I went to pay- the check was declined due to a returned check. I was mortified! Thank goodness my friend (neighbor) was there. I had never bounce a check so I had little knowledge of what to do in this situation. I do not remember if I got the coat for my son but I do remember the extreme fear I felt at that moment, plus the conversation with my husband based on that occasion. He blew it (the bounced check) off and was very upset with me for even attempting to write a check on our account. FYI: I have never to this day written a check at the PX....

Fear is a power thing. Yet, God has a eternal solution Isaiah 41:10 say "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

It took me years to understand the meaning of God's protection and control of my life. I still struggle with it daily. Yet, I am amazed that He knew all the struggles, heart aches, disappointments that we would experience and fears. Yet, He tells us not be afraid because He is with us. I am constantly at wonder of His creation of this majestic earth and yet question, fear, stress my own life. How selfish of me....He has given a promise to strengthen, help and hold me! How glorious is that?!? Yet, so many times as the example above I doubt... I found myself today praising God over a simple flower in Lowes, the uniqueness, beauty and wonder of this flower and turn and question my own life and security. I know for me; I compare, analyze, and question my experiences and base myself on these assumptions. Thankfully God does not!!!

Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."

The definition of everlasting is-lasting forever! There is not a time limit on God's love for me. So, when I am fearful; Thankfully God does not say "Times up, I no longer Love you due to you being scared!" Forever is a disclosure statement meaning that it is limitless in measure...
Unfailing means: reliable or unchanging! How amazing is that?!? I know that holds Peace to me. How many people can we truly say have "unfailing" love? Even for my own children, my love is changing...It has grown from the moment of their conception to current! God in all His perfection, Glory and Knowledge LOVES US! Do you understand that type of Love? I don't , but so extremely blessed and thankful that the Creator of that beautiful flower knew me before I knew me and LOVED ME! Yes world, HE LOVES ME!!!! I am a masterpiece in the eyes of the greatest artist, my Father God....and HE LOVES YOU (all you have to do is excect it!)