today I am taking a quick moment to enjoy the silence.
althought it may only be for a moment: I hear nothing but the breaths of my pets (four of them, two cats and two dogs). Three of my kids are at school, oldest is still sleeping, and of course my soldier husband is at work and I still in my PJ's listening to silence.
For me this is rest. I grew up on a farm in Iowa, unique life I believe. We did not have a television nor radio or the paper. My connection with the outside world was from church or school. So I have found comfort in it: Peace actually.
I gaze outside my window and notice the leaves blowing in the gentle wind. I am so thankful for Autumn. It reminds me of God's grace for us. so gentle and loving yet directs us in the path that He has already created for us. We have the option to follow.
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need in life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.
Rest in this today!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Forgotten
I realized recently that I have forgotten how much I enjoyed blogging so I begin the journey again! I also noticed that along the way I have lost some "followers". I hope that I gain you back.
Ok so quick notes:
who am I fooling, nothing with me is quick notes and even if I am the only person that reads this so be it! I want to document my thoughts, life, views, opinions, and memories. I am tired of the perseption that we must be perfect in order to post something to the public forum of life. WHY do we do this to ourselves? If you know me (future readers/ followers) I refuse to live my life with a plastic face...this means different things to different people. To me is means that I am who I am. By God's grace that is continually changing to be more like Christ. Honestly some days are so much better than others. Yet, I don't try to hide who I am or what I feel or think. I understand that many may not agree nor find it culturally accepted and I respect that (or at least try).
Ok~ enough babbling!
Past post discussed my oldest son following in the family tradition of joining the military. Well, sometimes our plans and God's plans or even just plans don't match. In his case, that is what ended up happening. We received news on August 19'2010 that he is disqualified from joining due to a skin condition (exzema). He has few slight rashes on his feet and legs but due to the military's regulations he is unable to join. Devastation broke through our hearts. I understand to many that is not a proper responce to finding out this news, but to our family this was devasting! He dreamed of being a soldier since he was three years old. I have vivid memories of him dressing up in his Dad's BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform), wearing the head gear, and painting his face with the camo paint.
I don't know how this blog will work but I promise to be honest, myself, and hopefully someday by doing this it will benefit someone.
Ok so quick notes:
who am I fooling, nothing with me is quick notes and even if I am the only person that reads this so be it! I want to document my thoughts, life, views, opinions, and memories. I am tired of the perseption that we must be perfect in order to post something to the public forum of life. WHY do we do this to ourselves? If you know me (future readers/ followers) I refuse to live my life with a plastic face...this means different things to different people. To me is means that I am who I am. By God's grace that is continually changing to be more like Christ. Honestly some days are so much better than others. Yet, I don't try to hide who I am or what I feel or think. I understand that many may not agree nor find it culturally accepted and I respect that (or at least try).
Ok~ enough babbling!
Past post discussed my oldest son following in the family tradition of joining the military. Well, sometimes our plans and God's plans or even just plans don't match. In his case, that is what ended up happening. We received news on August 19'2010 that he is disqualified from joining due to a skin condition (exzema). He has few slight rashes on his feet and legs but due to the military's regulations he is unable to join. Devastation broke through our hearts. I understand to many that is not a proper responce to finding out this news, but to our family this was devasting! He dreamed of being a soldier since he was three years old. I have vivid memories of him dressing up in his Dad's BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform), wearing the head gear, and painting his face with the camo paint.
I don't know how this blog will work but I promise to be honest, myself, and hopefully someday by doing this it will benefit someone.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Gaining Goals!
Have been busy achieving goals. I am busy doing homework and getting closer to my BA degree in Communications/ Political Science. How interesting to study intercultural communication during this period of time of M J's death. How one person's life gets so much media play and yet so many others in our country remain silent but impact our lives by giving up there own so we can remain free.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Must needed changes
During this period of my life, I stayed close to my trailer. Why, you question (especially if you know me now) was because of my fear. I lived a lot of my life in fear during that period. I was scared of what the Army would do to me, my son and my husband if I screwed up. I was under the assumption that the Army was a god type and could punish as it saw fit. (yes, a major change from who I am today, lol and that is partially why I am continuing this long drawn out BIO.)
I remember a neighbor of mine asking me to go to the PX with her on Fort Campbell. I was very excited due the fact that I had been there a few time with my husband and the season were changing so I need to purchase a winter coat for my son. I had heard of the discounts and thought it would be a good opportunity for me (and financially for my family). At the time of purchase, little did I know that my husband frequented the PX and wrote a check, so when I went to pay- the check was declined due to a returned check. I was mortified! Thank goodness my friend (neighbor) was there. I had never bounce a check so I had little knowledge of what to do in this situation. I do not remember if I got the coat for my son but I do remember the extreme fear I felt at that moment, plus the conversation with my husband based on that occasion. He blew it (the bounced check) off and was very upset with me for even attempting to write a check on our account. FYI: I have never to this day written a check at the PX....
Fear is a power thing. Yet, God has a eternal solution Isaiah 41:10 say "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
It took me years to understand the meaning of God's protection and control of my life. I still struggle with it daily. Yet, I am amazed that He knew all the struggles, heart aches, disappointments that we would experience and fears. Yet, He tells us not be afraid because He is with us. I am constantly at wonder of His creation of this majestic earth and yet question, fear, stress my own life. How selfish of me....He has given a promise to strengthen, help and hold me! How glorious is that?!? Yet, so many times as the example above I doubt... I found myself today praising God over a simple flower in Lowes, the uniqueness, beauty and wonder of this flower and turn and question my own life and security. I know for me; I compare, analyze, and question my experiences and base myself on these assumptions. Thankfully God does not!!!
Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."
The definition of everlasting is-lasting forever! There is not a time limit on God's love for me. So, when I am fearful; Thankfully God does not say "Times up, I no longer Love you due to you being scared!" Forever is a disclosure statement meaning that it is limitless in measure...
Unfailing means: reliable or unchanging! How amazing is that?!? I know that holds Peace to me. How many people can we truly say have "unfailing" love? Even for my own children, my love is changing...It has grown from the moment of their conception to current! God in all His perfection, Glory and Knowledge LOVES US! Do you understand that type of Love? I don't , but so extremely blessed and thankful that the Creator of that beautiful flower knew me before I knew me and LOVED ME! Yes world, HE LOVES ME!!!! I am a masterpiece in the eyes of the greatest artist, my Father God....and HE LOVES YOU (all you have to do is excect it!)
I remember a neighbor of mine asking me to go to the PX with her on Fort Campbell. I was very excited due the fact that I had been there a few time with my husband and the season were changing so I need to purchase a winter coat for my son. I had heard of the discounts and thought it would be a good opportunity for me (and financially for my family). At the time of purchase, little did I know that my husband frequented the PX and wrote a check, so when I went to pay- the check was declined due to a returned check. I was mortified! Thank goodness my friend (neighbor) was there. I had never bounce a check so I had little knowledge of what to do in this situation. I do not remember if I got the coat for my son but I do remember the extreme fear I felt at that moment, plus the conversation with my husband based on that occasion. He blew it (the bounced check) off and was very upset with me for even attempting to write a check on our account. FYI: I have never to this day written a check at the PX....
Fear is a power thing. Yet, God has a eternal solution Isaiah 41:10 say "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
It took me years to understand the meaning of God's protection and control of my life. I still struggle with it daily. Yet, I am amazed that He knew all the struggles, heart aches, disappointments that we would experience and fears. Yet, He tells us not be afraid because He is with us. I am constantly at wonder of His creation of this majestic earth and yet question, fear, stress my own life. How selfish of me....He has given a promise to strengthen, help and hold me! How glorious is that?!? Yet, so many times as the example above I doubt... I found myself today praising God over a simple flower in Lowes, the uniqueness, beauty and wonder of this flower and turn and question my own life and security. I know for me; I compare, analyze, and question my experiences and base myself on these assumptions. Thankfully God does not!!!
Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."
The definition of everlasting is-lasting forever! There is not a time limit on God's love for me. So, when I am fearful; Thankfully God does not say "Times up, I no longer Love you due to you being scared!" Forever is a disclosure statement meaning that it is limitless in measure...
Unfailing means: reliable or unchanging! How amazing is that?!? I know that holds Peace to me. How many people can we truly say have "unfailing" love? Even for my own children, my love is changing...It has grown from the moment of their conception to current! God in all His perfection, Glory and Knowledge LOVES US! Do you understand that type of Love? I don't , but so extremely blessed and thankful that the Creator of that beautiful flower knew me before I knew me and LOVED ME! Yes world, HE LOVES ME!!!! I am a masterpiece in the eyes of the greatest artist, my Father God....and HE LOVES YOU (all you have to do is excect it!)
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